The Ashirbaad: engagement
In this occasion groom and bride's families meets together who exchange their
gifts, discussions and fix date of marriage. Elders give their blessings to
couple by showering 'dhaan' (husked rice) and 'dooba'.
Al Buddo Bhaat
In this a bride as an unmarried girl take her last meal at her paternal home.
Bride's mother prepares Bengali dishes for her daughter, which is shared by the
all family.
Gai Halood / Haldi Uptan
This custom is held on the sunrise of wedding day. The family members of grooms
apply turmeric paste on his body. This is a friendly function full of joy and
happiness where his relatives, especially the girls, mercilessly tease the
groom!
After rubbing this paste on grooms paste is sent at the bride's home for her
'Gai Halood' ceremony. Before dawn, on wedding day, the bride takes 'Dahi
Mangal' (custard-like food made from curdled milk), after this she fasts until
the marriage ritual is over.
Shaka Paula
The bride is decorated with coral and shell bangles by 'sumangalis'
Sanskrit 'shlokas' (verses) chanted by the priest, seven married women or
'sumangalis' beautify the bride with coral and shell bangles. The groom sends
an iron and silver knotted bangle for the bride, indicates a strong and stable
relationship.
Boijotri: The wedding procession
The maternal uncles of bride bring the bridegroom, his family and friends to the
wedding spot. The groom is stunning in 'sherwani' (long coat) or traditional
'dhoti kurta'.
With the blowing of the conch, the 'boijotri' or 'baraat' (wedding procession)
sets off for the wedding venue.
Potto Bastra: Welcoming the groom
On the entrance of groom, bride's elders receive the groom with the 'boron'
(straw colander) by holding a lamp, honey, yogurt and betel leaves. Then groom
exposed himself with a shawl and a 'dhoti', which he is supposed to wear for
the wedding ceremony.
The wedding:
Shubh Dhristi / Exchange of garland:
The bride walks up to the groom, eyes lowered and goes around him seven times,
welcoming him and then stands in front of him. Her face is covered with betel
leaves, which are moved apart to enable the couple to make eye contact for the
'shubh dhristi' (auspicious 'viewing' of each other).
The couple now exchanges garlands and the groom proceeds to the 'mandap'
(marriage platform) followed by the bride.
Kanyadaan: Giving away the bride
Amongst Vedic chanting the bride's parents symbolically hand over their most
precious gift, their daughter, to the bridegroom.
Hasta Milap
The hands of the couple are tied together in a symbolic knot and the bride is
formally handed over to her husband.
Saptapadi
The couple takes the seven steps of matrimony around the sacred fire. With each
step the bride leaves her family and with the seventh step, she finally becomes
a member of her husband's family. The bride and groom take a promise with each
step.
Sindoordaan:
Performed at the end of the marriage rituals, this ceremony is the safeguard of
a husband. He applies the 'sindoor' on the parting in the hair of his bride to
begin her marital status.
Bashar Ghar
After the wedding feast, the groom's family, friends and guests leave but the
groom live there in the bride's home. The following day is spent at his in-laws
amidst a lot of teasing and entertaining by the younger generation in the
'bashar ghar' or ceremonial room.
Vidaai
In one of the most emotional moments of her life, the 'vidaai', the bride takes
leave of her parental home. For her it symbolizes the changing of her 'gotra'
(ancestral lineage) and allegiances in one stroke!
Welcoming the bride in her marital home
On entering the home, mother-in law gives her new daughter -in law a fish to
hold, while she waits for the milk to boil over (symbolizing a house
overflowing with food and affection).
The bride then steps onto a platter containing 'alta' (vermilion water) and
walks into her new home leaving her foot imprints on the floor of the house.
She is then taken straight into the kitchen and blessed by all the elders.
Bahu Bhaat
The following day is a very important one for the bride as it is on this day
that she is formally accepted by all her husband's relatives through the
formality of the 'Bahu Bhaat'.
Reception
The groom's family generally hosts the wedding reception, which is a formal
function to introduce the newly weds to family and friends.