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Rituals Of Bihari Marriage
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A Bihari wedding is an elaborate, colorful function marked by
traditional rituals.
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Tilak
The groom receives lavish gifts The bride's brother has to perform the 'tilak'
ceremony for his future brother-in-law. He carries with him a 'gaggara'
(stainless steel or copper utensil used mainly for storing water in Indian
homes) in which the auspicious coconut and mango leaves are placed. He also
carries three 'parats' (stainless steel or brass platters). The first
'parat' contains 'dhan' (husk covered rice) coloured red or
yellow, one and a half or five kilograms of 'supari' (betel nuts) dipped in
turmeric, and 'haldi' sticks (turmeric) which have to be the same quantity as
the 'supari'.
The second 'parat' contains yellow rice and Rs. 51/- also
coloured yellow.
The third 'parat' contains dry fruits and sweetmeats.
Haldi Ka Din
Beautification rituals In most Bihari weddings the 'haldi' ceremony
(beautifying the bride with turmeric paste and fragrant oils) lasts for four
days. The first of these four days is known as 'haldi ka din'. The 'pujari'
conducts the 'Satyanarayan Puja' simultaneously as the married men and women
apply the 'haldi-uptan' paste on the bride. Kohl is applied in the bride's
eyes.
The groom begins the same ceremony in his house and the 'Satyanarayana Puja' is
performed in his house as well.
Pind-daan
Offering of ground rice is made to the ancestors. The bride's mother and other
'sumangalis' (married ladies) grind the rice before the 'puja'.
Haldi Ceremony
On the morning of the wedding day, the bride once again prepares herself for
the 'haldi-uptan' paste application in exactly the same manner as was done
earlier on 'haldi ka din'.
At the groom's home the same ritual of applying the 'haldi' paste on him is
performed, after which he is dressed for the 'jaimaal' ceremony. The ceremony
involving the dressing up of the groom is called 'joda pehanana', which is the
same as 'sehrabandhi' in other North Indian communities.
The groom's sister's husband or 'behnoi' has to perform the honours of dressing
the groom.
Baraat
When the 'baraat' is at the entrance of the wedding venue, all the important
members from the bride's family wait with garlands of flowers in their hands to
welcome the 'baraatis'. Each person from the groom's family is welcomed with a
garland by his counterpart in the bride's family (i.e. the bride's father
garlands the groom's father, the bride's 'mama' (maternal uncle) garlands the
groom's 'mama' and so on and so forth).
The ladies also garland their counterparts from the groom's family. This ritual
is called 'darwaza lagna'.
While his 'baraat' is being welcomed the groom remains seated in the decorated
car and awaits the arrival of the 'pujari' from the bride's family, to come and
welcome him by applying the 'tilak' on his forehead and to help him out of the
car. The bride's father performs a small 'puja' for the groom at this time to
bless and welcome him. The 'puja' is performed with a 'kalash' (pot) filled
with water and decorated with a coconut and mango leaves. The bride's father
then leads the groom to a decorated chair reserved especially for him.
Jaimaala
The bride performs an 'aarti' for the groom and then the couple exchanges
garlands.
Kanyadaan
For the 'kanyadaan' ceremony the 'pujari' asks the bride's father to stretch
out his right hand, on top of which the bride's mother places her right hand,
next the groom places his right hand on top of his mother-in-law's and lastly
the bride, holding a conch, places her right hand on top of the groom's.
The 'pujaris' chant mantras throughout and in this manner the bride is 'given
away' by her parents to the groom eliciting a promise from him to look after
and cherish their daughter. The 'pujari' sprinkles holy water on all of them.
After the 'kanyadaan' ceremony the bride is seated to the right of the groom.
Mooh-dikhai
After the 'kanyadaan' ceremony the groom retires to the 'janvaasa' while the
bride goes in to change for the next ritual, the 'kanya nirakshan'. Literally
translated it means viewing the bride.
The groom's father accompanied by the groom's elder married brother or
'bhaisur' now arrives to adorn the bride with the jewellery sent by her
mother-in-law. This ritual is called 'bhaisur nirakshan'. This is the only time
during the entire wedding that the 'bhaisur' is allowed to touch the bride or
even enter the 'mandap'. His head must be covered with a 'rumaal'
(handkerchief) or a 'topi' (cap) at this time. He first blesses the bride by
placing his hand on her head and then presents her with two saris (one is the
wedding sari and the other is the 'gouna sari'), two 'chunris' (veils) and a
set of 'lehenga-choli' (long ethnic skirt with a blouse). He then adorns the
bride with all the jewellery sent for her by her in-laws.
Bidaai Ki Rasm
If the groom has stayed back in the bride's maternal home, he will leave with
his bride either after two days or after performing the 'kangna kholna'
ceremony which takes place on the fourth day after the wedding as explained
earlier.
The bride sits while her mother fills her lap with gifts. She receives the
'bidaai ki sari' and in her 'khoicha'/ 'jholi' or lap, her mother puts half a
kilo of yellow rice, money, 'sindoor', 'haldi' and 'doob'.
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